Friday, July 11, 2014

July 11, 2014 at 07:45PM

Doc's appointment today, confirmed it was viral. I actually had an unexpected opportunity to talk with the person who was my counselor. Call it providence. I lost my temper yesterday in the car because it wouldn't let go of the keys from the ignition (we just found out why... brake wasn't setting). I broke the windshield wiper handle in my fit of rage. But it was wonderful talking with him. Fits of rage like that are the healthy release of the unhealthy flashbacks PTSD people like me have. They only really come out when the person either feels safe, or feels no consequence. I won't hurt a human, but my own technology is often beaten to pieces. Now I understand why. But this isn't my car. It's Ray's. Doc suggests I feel tremendously safe with Ray if I was subconsciously able to release like that. Good news, honey... I really am absolutely yours! Bad news... I feel okay enough to break your stuff. I'm a total freak. Oh, and proud of it, btw.